Don't Let Me Go
by simplymondler
Summary: The girls want Monica to go speed dating. Her secret boyfriend isn't too happy about it. Two parter. Mondler. Angst.
1. Chapter 1

Don't Let Me Go

A/N- Thanks for all your lovely reviews and well wishes. I'm pleased to say the house move went smoothly but we're surrounded by boxes and DIY tasks which I'm choosing to ignore in order to do some stories hee hee! The net is up and running too so all is pretty good in my little world right now :o)

This is set in season five just before/ instead of the Thanksgiving episode. It's a little two-parter with a fair bit of angst thrown into the mix...

* * *

"Speed dating?" Monica asked incredulous.

"Yeah!" Rachel exclaimed excitedly, "My friend from work was telling me all about it. It sounds really fun."

Monica's worried eyes met Chandler's equally worried eyes from across the room.

"It sounds really _desperate_ ," she argued nervously.

"Desperate? Please, when did you last go on a date?"

"Um," Monica's eyes again shot to Chandler, remembering their wonderful date the other weekend. He'd taken her for dinner in a cute little diner out of the village. It was a quirky place, somewhere where they knew none of their gang would ever venture. They'd selected a small secluded booth and had gotten the chance to kiss a little, flirt a _lot_ and take full advantage of the rare opportunity to enjoy being a couple.

His blue eyes had been so playful and bright throughout the evening and he'd never looked more gorgeous in his all black suit and he'd seemed to appreciate her new clingy dress. Barely able to keep their hands off each other throughout the meal, neither were surprised that they hadn't been able to wait until they got home for dessert, instead having to take a detour to a _very_ secluded part of the park.

Now _that_ had been a fun.

"Exactly!" Rachel protested, misinterpreting her silence. "It _will_ be fun; it's a great chance to meet men, _lots_ of men and to move on. I wanna go and you're coming with me. Phoebe, you wanna join us?"

"Hell yeah!" Phoebe agreed eagerly, "10 dates in like 10 minutes. I'm there!"

"It's 15," Rachel informed her with a smirk.

"15 potential hotties?" Phoebe's obvious excitement increased, "Sign me up!"

Monica bit her lip, wincing, very aware of Chandler's eyes on her, begging her to find a way out of this.

"Then you can go with Phoebe," she tried, "you don't need me there."

"Monica, you need to get out more and this is the perfect chance to meet some new guys."

She didn't want to meet any new guys; if only she could tell them that. She hugged herself slightly as her eyes automatically sought out the only guy she wanted. Needed. He looked as apprehensive as she felt.

"And," Phoebe continued for Rachel, "if you don't like them you've only wasted like 3 minutes of your life instead of a whole evening. 3 minutes- they can't even bore you in that time." She clapped her hands together in glee, "Oh, I can't wait!"

Monica needed an excuse. Fast.

"Actually, you know what, I think I'm working," she breathed a sigh of relief, proud of herself for her quick thinking. She was somewhat confused though as Chandler winced, shaking his head as he returned to pretending to read his paper. She frowned; what was his problem?

"You've got next weekend off work," Rachel was also frowning.

Crap. She'd forgotten that.

"Oh, um, right, I meant I, uh-"

"Monica, just come with us," Phoebe argued. "We've not done anything fun, just us girls since I've had the babies. I could do with a good girls' night out to cheer me up and this is perfect. Please? Come on, I really need this."

Phoebe did those damn puppy dog eyes and Monica screwed her face up in response. How could she say 'no' when she played the post baby-card? It wasn't fair. Phoebe had been down lately, not quite herself since giving away the triplets, maybe this was what she needed? She bit her lip again in indecision, hugging herself even tighter; she knew both the girls were now looking at her so, she couldn't risk another glance at Chandler.

"Um…" she racked her mind for any final excuses, praying that Chandler would jump in with something.

Anything.

He didn't.

She was out of ideas.

"Ok…I guess."

As the girls 'whooped' she shot an apologetic look to Chandler. He swallowed heavily and nodded, looking away from her and back to his paper. She frowned again at his reaction; he'd seen she'd tried to get out of it, that she'd made it clear she didn't want to go. Monica desperately wished she could talk to him to see what was going on inside that complex brain of his but with both girls here and Ross currently crashing on the boys' couch she didn't know when she'd get a chance. It was extremely hard to find much alone time with him at the moment and it was extremely frustrating for both of them.

To make matters worse Thanksgiving was just around the corner and she knew it was his least favorite time of the year; he was already getting a touch cranky and irritable. As it was their first holiday together as a couple, even unofficially, she'd wanted to try and do something to help him overcome his hatred of the holiday, maybe even enjoy it just a tad as he realized he had lots to be thankful for.

But she had hardly gotten to see him this last week, apart from a few stolen moments here and there; it wasn't nearly enough. Their date the other weekend had been the only time they'd managed to really get out and be together, just the two of them. It had been great, amazing, wonderful…but it had only been for a few short hours. It had been too short and time had flown by way too quickly.

Even their sacred midnight trysts were difficult at the moment because of her stupid light-sleeper brother.

God, she really missed spending time with Chandler and she knew he was feeling just as frustrated as she was. She was tempted to say to hell with the secrecy thing and just announce their relationship to the world. Sure they'd be scrutinized, gossiped about and placed under constant surveillance from their friends no doubt, but at least they'd get to spend _some_ time together, actually have a relationship to be kept secret.

It had to be better than their current situation.

* * *

"Hello?"

"Hey gorgeous," came the familiar warm voice over the phone line, bringing an instant smile to her face, "you ok to talk?"

"Yeah," she grinned, sitting on the couch and tucking her feet up under her, "Rachel's at work and Ross has gone for a walk to clear his head. How's your morning? As bad as you thought?"

"Meh," she could hear him shrug over the phone, "horrible actually, I wish I was off spending the day with you."

"Me too," she agreed, her smile entering her voice, "but that would look a little suspicious, plus it's your busy time remember?" she teased, wondering how he'd even managed to fit in a phone call to her.

"It is busy," she heard him sigh, "and I will have to go back soon before they notice I sneaked out of the meeting room. Say uh, have you managed to get out of Friday night yet?" he asked hopefully.

She screwed up her face in surprise, "No," she shook her head, although he couldn't see her, "they are really looking forward to a girls' night out and I can't let them down. Besides, it'll be nice to get to hang out with them."

"You hang out with them every day," he tried to keep his tone light.

"This is different!" she chuckled, not picking up on his mood.

"Yeah, different because you'll also be hanging out with 20 horny guys."

Her brow creased, only now hearing the edge entering his voice.

"It's _15_ guys," she tried to tease lightly, but she was met with silence. "Honey, I'm going so I can have a fun evening with the girls and make Phoebe feel better. That's all it's gonna be, I'm not going to see anyone or get any dates or phone numbers," she promised.

"But it's a room full of 20 horny guys who'll all think you're available and looking for sex," he protested, "it's like my worst nightmare."

"It's 15 guys," she automatically corrected, "and I thought your worst nightmare was waking up naked and finding Martha Stewart and your mother in your bedroom discussing twinkie recipes."

"Reducing the number by 5 doesn't help, believe me," he muttered, ignoring her attempt at humor, "I'm serious, please try and get out of it."

"Chandler," she protested, "you know it's _you_ I wanna be with and you know I'm not available. I know I'm not available. Let them think what they like, it's you I'm dating, you who I'm in a relationship with, you who I'm crazy about. You've got no reason to be worried ok? I promise, it's not a big deal. It's just a few hours with the girls."

"I-"

"Do you trust me?" she asked pointedly.

"With my life, you know that," he promised without hesitation, "it's the 20 horny guys I don't trust."

"Chandler," she warned.

"Fine, 15 guys, whatever. Please just try and get out of it," he begged softly. "I'll take you out somewhere nice instead. Just the two of us, anywhere you wanna go, whatever you wanna do."

She grinned slightly, that did sound appealing. Very appealing. "I don't think I'll be able to, sweetie," she sighed regretfully, "Phoebe hasn't had a decent night out since the babies. She's so excited about it and Rachel's already paid and booked our places."

"Mon…"

"It's just one evening," she pointed out again, "just a few hours. We can sneak out somewhere Saturday night."

She heard him sigh again and then a distant shout reached her ears.

"Damn," she heard him mutter, "They've noticed I've gone AWOL. I better go back…I'll see you later."

"Chandler, you've got nothing to worry about."

There was silence but she knew he was still connected so waited.

"If you say so," he said quietly, "bye Mon."

She heard the phone click off.

"Bye," she whispered.

She knew he trusted her and it was just part of his insecure relationship baggage he carried around. Having been cheated on by both Kathy and Janice she could understand it but he knew she wouldn't ever do that to him. She wasn't going to cancel just because of it. She was actually looking forward to the evening and not for the men; she was going for the girly side of it. She hated not being able to share details of their relationship with her friends. At least Friday night she'd be able to gossip with them, giggle over a cocktail or two and discuss men in general- that would help her. She missed talking to them about guys.

Originally, she was even going to suggest to Chandler that she could tell the girls she was going on a date with one of the men there and use that as a cover story for the two of them for a couple of weeks. Now, she didn't think he'd like the idea so much.

She sighed as Ross entered the apartment, the sad look back on his face. She tried to clear her head of Chandler and focus on her brother's problems but it was hard. Why did Chandler have to make such a big deal over one evening?

It didn't mean anything.

* * *

"Hey," a tired and ruffled Chandler greeted as he entered apartment 20, his eyes automatically seeking out his girlfriend's, sharing a quick private smile. It was pretty much all they'd been able to share these last few days.

"Are you just getting home?" Joey frowned glancing at the flashing clock on the girls' VCR. It was already past 9pm.

"Yep," he sighed heavily, dumping his briefcase on the floor and collapsing onto the couch.

"Tough day at the office?" Monica asked as she came to stand behind the couch, her hands resting friend-like on his shoulders.

"Awful," he muttered, closing his eyes. "It's a busy enough time for us anyhow, plus you've got everything coming in early because of _thanksgiving_ ," he said the word as if it left a nasty taste in his mouth. "Then one of my team did a major screw up which we had to stay and correct before the system reset scheduled at midnight tonight and the stupid IT team refused to delay it until tomorrow night…," he sighed, realizing any further detail would probably bore them; opening his eyes and glancing at their faces proved they were very much bored already. Great. "Let's just say I can't wait for this crappy week from hell to be over."

"Well tomorrow's Friday," Ross tried to cheer him up, "and then it's the weekend!"

"Yeah and we get to go speed dating!" Phoebe practically cheered. "Speed dating!"

"Oh right," he muttered sarcastically, "I'd forgotten all about that." Monica felt his shoulders tense under her hands and she tried to subtly reassure him with a gentle rub.

"Well, I haven't," Rachel informed him happily, "I can't wait! And, to make it more interesting we've come up with a pact."

"What kind of pact?" Ross asked curious as Monica cringed.

"That we all have to favorite at least 2 guys; that way we have a better chance of progressing to the next stage!" Rachel said proudly.

"What?" Chandler asked surprised, pulling himself out of Monica's reach as he stood up, facing her, "You agreed to this?" Monica shot him a look which pointedly said now was not the time or place. "W-what if you don't like two guys?" he asked, turning to aim his question at one of the other girls, hoping to make it less suspicious, although his mind was already in over-drive. Next round?

"You still have to put them down," Phoebe explained. "Hopefully there'll be loads more but 2 is the minimum."

"The minimum?" he swallowed, "Well, aren't you 3 in for a good time?" He tried to keep the bitterness from his voice but knew he was failing. "Right, on that revelation I'm gonna go grab a shower and head to bed. I've got to be in work early tomorrow and it's gonna be another day of hell…I can feel it."

They all bid their sympathetic goodnights as he left, resisting the urge to slam the door behind him. Life was hectic and busy enough without this on his mind. Two guys? He'd barely shut his apartment door when he heard it open and close again. He turned around, not surprised to find her standing there.

"Look, Mon," he sighed, "now really isn't a good time. I'm tired and-"

"I know," she said, "I just wanted to check you were ok?"

"Never better," he muttered and it was her turn to sigh. "When were you gonna tell me about the 2 guy rule?" he asked, trying not to sound irritated but her expression told him he'd failed.

"How about never?" she replied. "What does it matter? It doesn't _mean_ anything, Chandler, I've already told you that. I'm not going to go on any actual dates with anyone! It's just a night out with the girls, we've had this conversation. Can we please just forget it? It's not a big deal."

He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. He didn't feel like doing this right now and knew himself well enough to know he certainly wouldn't be able to forget it.

"Great, well," he shook his head trying to clear it, "I'm gonna go have that shower and go to bed."

"Is that an invitation?" she quipped, knowing with the others just across the hall it wouldn't be possible anyhow.

"No," he said softly and she frowned at his tone.

"It was just a joke," she insisted.

"I'm not in a…jokey place right now," he sighed, taking a step away from her. "Look, I'm sorry, I've had a horrible day and you can probably tell I'm not in the best of moods and I'm not really up for company."

She looked him over and pushed down the hurt feelings starting to bubble in her stomach. She didn't like it if he was upset, she didn't like it if there was any kind of tension between the two of them. It didn't sit right.

"Chandler," she said softly, stepping forwards to place a hand on his chest but he shrugged her away.

"I'm sorry, just-" he sighed trying to explain, "just let me sleep this off, ok? I'll see you tomorrow."

With that he walked into the bathroom and closed the door. Monica sighed, closing her eyes for a few moments as she composed herself, getting ready to go back and be the happy host next door. He was just having a bad week. That's all it was. He pushed people away when he was like this and always had. Just because they were dating didn't mean he was going to change his coping mechanisms overnight.

Let him have tonight. Hopefully she could reassure him and nip this in the bud at breakfast.

She heard the shower start to run and took that as her cue to leave. She'd thought that if she'd come over here she could reassure him, have a few sneaky kisses and make them both feel better.

She'd failed miserably.

* * *

Chandler entered the girls' apartment after work. It was late, again, but thankfully not as late as last night. He could hear Phoebe's and Rachel's excited voices coming from Rachel's bedroom as they got ready for their big night. He thankfully couldn't hear Monica's voice and her light was on in her room, so he hoped that meant she was there; he needed to talk to her. He hadn't seen her since yesterday evening's less than happy conversation. He hadn't bothered going over for breakfast, his mood hadn't improved and he'd wanted to get to work stupidly early to get a head start.

He gently tapped on her bedroom door and pushed it open a crack. She was sat on her bed with just a towel wrapped around her as she did something girly to her hair.

"Hey," he greeted, his eyes involuntarily running over her. She was beautiful.

"Hey," she said just as softly but there was still tension, he winced.

"Did you manage to get out of tonight?" Chandler asked, "Because Joey and Ross are going out to some bar, so we could have two apartments all to ourselves…" God, he hoped she'd agree. He needed her, wanted her so badly; to be close to her, to have just a few hours with her would make all the difference to him right now. He could forget all about this crappy week, this crappy holiday and just enjoy being in her arms. Recharge and recover in a way that only Monica could help him with.

"No, sorry Chandler, but I told you I was going to this," she looked carefully in the mirror, critically examining a curl she'd done in her hair. Why was she putting so much effort into this, he vaguely wondered.

"You won't change your mind?"

"I can't, we're leaving in less than 20 minutes."

"You could pretend to not feel well? Pull a sickie and-"

"Would you stop?" she asked, her eyes pleading, "It's just a girly night out. It shouldn't be an issue. I'm allowed to go out with whoever I want. Since when were you a possessive jealous boyfriend? It doesn't suit you."

He blinked. That's what she thought this was?

"I'm not being a possessive jealous boyfriend," he shot back, trying to keep his voice quiet. "I have the right though, to feel a little worried that my girlfriend is going on like 20 dates tonight."

He trusted her. He did. But what if she met someone tonight by accident? She was going on multiple dates with every guy playing their A game, trying their best to be charming and datable. What if there was a surprise spark she hadn't expected? He knew she was out of his league; what if she met someone very much in her league?

He couldn't help his insecurities.

"I'm spending time with the girls," she protested as calmly as she could, placing down her heating tongs, "That's _all_ I'm going for. I don't care about any guys there. I just want some cocktails and girly gossiping."

"You're drinking?" for some reason he hadn't expected that; didn't want that. Alcohol lowered inhibitions and made it easier to give into temptation.

"Just because I have something to drink doesn't mean I'm going to fall into bed with someone," she grated, trying to keep her emotions in check. She knew it was just a rough time for him and wished this whole speed dating thing had come after thanksgiving but she couldn't help that. She just needed him to trust her and it hurt that he apparently didn't.

"Right," he scoffed quietly, "just how did we get together again?"

She narrowed her eyes at the low blow. She hadn't expected that.

"That was different," she ground out, "and you know it. Why are you dragging London into this? It's got nothing to do with it."

Annoyed she stood up, turning her back to him as she removed the towel and stepped into her dress.

"Zip me up?" she asked, trying to calm down.

"You're wearing that?" he asked and she bit down her frustration and waited for him to help her with the zipper. Annoyed at how her body automatically responded to him being so close, to his fingertips lightly brushing her skin, causing goosebumps to appear in their wake.

"Yes, I'm wearing this," she confirmed, turning to face him, "is there some sort of problem with my outfit?"

Irritated that she was getting caught up in this stupid argument, even though she'd told herself she wouldn't, Monica left him standing in the middle of the room as she went over to her dresser. She quickly located the earrings she wanted and started putting them on.

He was just in a freaked-out stubborn 'Chandler' place and she shouldn't join him. Wouldn't. She could and would rise above it.

"If I say 'yes' are you going to accuse me of being a possessive jealous boyfriend again?" he said quietly but there was still a hard edge to his voice which she didn't like.

"What's wrong with me wearing this?" she tried cutting to the chase whilst fixing her necklace in place.

"You look hot," he told her and on any other occasion she'd thank him but right now it seemed anything but a compliment.

"And?"

"Do you really need to wear something so…sexy?" he asked, starting to pace, his hand scrubbing across his face, through his hair.

"What do you want me to wear? A paper bag?" she sniped; she wouldn't rise to the bait, she wouldn't.

"What's wrong with jeans?" he asked and she shook her head wondering if he was being serious or trying to deliberately irk her.

"Tell me you're joking?"

"I'm not joking," he protested, "why do you have to put in so much effort if you're just going to have a night with the girls? Why do you have to wear something so clingy and -"

"My God, Chandler," she finally snapped hissing, aware of the girls just in the next room. "What the hell is wrong with you? Are you actually listening to yourself? I'm putting in some effort because it's nice to sometimes. Is that so wrong? Plus don't you think the girls will get a little suspicious if I don't spend a bit of time on my appearance. I've already told you a zillion times by now that I'm not interested in picking up any random guys. Let as many of them as they like put my number down, I'm not going to do anything. So, please please, stop with this weird insecure boyfriend thing ok? I know I'm taken and you know I'm taken; isn't that enough? I mean, do you really need me to put a sign around my neck telling guys to back off? Or tell the girls that you're going to come sit next to me and hold my hand? Or hell, you could just pee on me and mark your territory."

"Fine," he snapped back, arms in the air, "yeah that's exactly what I said, maybe I should make this real easy for you and just stop being your boyfriend tonight."

He went towards the door and she narrowed her eyes, "Chandler," she warned.

He turned and looked at her, both of them stared at each other. Their chests were rising and falling a little faster than normal, their eyes a mixture of anger, pain and hurt.

"I-"

The moment was interrupted by the bedroom door opening, almost hitting Chandler.

"Chandler?" Phoebe frowned, "what are you doing here?"

He swallowed, breaking eye contact and looking over to his blonde friend as he tried to get his head off the fight and focus on her question.

"I was, uh, just," he swallowed, "just saying good bye to Monica. You girls have fun tonight, I hope it's worth it."

With that he walked out of the room, head down and left the apartment fast, annoyed at himself and at her. Frustrated, he forcefully pushed open his apartment door, slamming it behind him, causing Ross to jerk in surprise.

"You ok?" Ross frowned.

"Nope," he bit out, marching towards his room, "you guys still going out tonight?"

"Yeah, I'm just waiting for Joey to-"

"Great," he cut him off, "wait for me too. I'm coming with you."

With that he slammed his bedroom door leaving a perplexed Ross in the living room.

* * *

TBC...

A/N - I hope I haven't bummed you out too much on a Saturday night!

It was really hard to get these two to fight. With every edit (and there was lots) I'd tweak something only to reread it and suddenly one of them seemed too harsh. Hopefully you could see both their view points in this chapter? I'd love feedback on if it worked on any level...

Anyhow, the next part should be up in the next day or so...I can't leave a negative vibe between them for too long- doesn't feel right!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N- wow- thank you so much for all the reviews. I won't lie, I was a little worried no one would like this one, so I'm very relieved you do :o)

* * *

Monica cradled her glass of wine, staring blankly at the man across the table from her. She didn't want to be here. How had she expected to have fun knowing he was upset? Why had she even chosen _this_ over spending the evening with Chandler?

Chandler.

Had he actually broken up with her? Ended it? Had she actually pushed him too far and already screwed up the most important relationship of her life?

"So, that's me summed up in 60 seconds. What about you?"

Monica frowned, focusing on the stranger in front of her for the first time; she hadn't heard a word he'd said but he'd be gone in a minute. Just like the last one and the one before that. God, when would this be over?

"Uh, sorry, did you hear me?

"Would you break up with your girlfriend if she went speed dating?" Monica asked him out of the blue.

"Um….what?"

"Would you get jealous if your girlfriend went speed dating but only because she wanted to spend time with the girls? Would you feel so insecure that you'd argue about it? Break up with her and throw it all away?"

"Um..." his brown eyes darted around uncomfortably, his fingers nervously tapping the table surface. "I'm sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about. I don't have a girlfriend...that's kinda why I'm here, you know Speed dating?" he chuckled awkwardly, wincing, "which I was told would fly by...and it really isn't," he muttered the last bit under his breath, looking at the large timer on the wall.

"Why are men so stubborn?" she continued, leaning forwards slightly, prying a finger from her glass to point accusingly at him.

"Well, usually because we're right?" he tried to joke but Monica shook her head in disgust.

"No, I just... was I wrong to come here? I shouldn't be here. I think I might have really messed this up."

"Noooo," he lied, "I'm, uh, sure someone will choose you and you'll be perfect for them."

She scoffed unimpressed, shaking her head again as if he was stupid. He didn't get it, no one got it. She was already perfect for someone and he was perfect for her, even if he was a doofus. A little smile touched her lips as she pictured his mussed hair, wiggling eyebrows and trademark cheeky grin; he may be a doofus but he was _her_ doofus…wasn't he?

What if he wasn't hers anymore?

"Have we broken up?" she whispered.

"Um…we aren't together..."

The buzzer rang out and she heard a muttered 'thank god' as the guy bolted from the table as quickly as humanly possible. She didn't care though – he didn't matter. Only Chandler mattered. She let out a heavy sigh as she saw Rachel at the table next to her turn towards her.

"What the hell was that?" Rachel asked pissed.

Monica shrugged, taking another long sip of her wine as Phoebe joined them as the intermission began.

"What's going on?" Phoebe asked as she eyed her two friends, "Guys?"

"Monica didn't make an effort with any of them!" Rachel stated, her eyes still firmly on her roommate, trying to figure her out. "And I heard some of that last conversation. What was that about?"

"Ladies and gentlemen, please submit your cards into the postbox and enjoy a few drinks at the open bar whilst we analyze everyone's results."

"Oooh open bar!" Phoebe cheered. "Give me your cards and I'll go hand them in."

Monica handed hers over reluctantly, waiting for the inevitable…

"It's blank!"

She winced, she was kinda hoping that the girls wouldn't notice, "I know."

"We made a pact," Phoebe protested confused, "you need at least 2 numbers on here."

She waved the blank card at her but Monica batted it away.

"I didn't like any of them," she dismissed, "look, I'm not really in the mood tonight, so-"

"Oh please," Rachel continued the argument, "several of them were perfect husband candidates."

"Husband?" she frowned unconvinced.

Rachel shrugged, "Ok, fine," she sighed, "maybe not 'husband' but certainly good enough to go on a date with. What's going on with you?"

"Nothing," she shook her head, swallowing, "Sorry, look I just...I don't want to be here. I think I may just head home."

She saw them exchange looks and sighed.

"Monica, what is it?" Phoebe asked more gently than Rachel had. "You've seemed down all night. Has something happened?"

"No," she lied weakly but with two pairs of concerned eyes on her it was difficult to hide, especially as they knew her so well.

She just had to pull herself together and forget about the stupid fight with Chandler; that's all it was, a stupid fight. She was angry, he was angry and words got said. End of story. He hadn't really broken up with her…had he? No, she chastened herself for the hundredth time tonight; he couldn't have broken up with her. But what if he had meant it? What if it was over?

She felt the tears she'd been fighting all evening press against her eyelids. They didn't fight much, it didn't suit them and when they did, it left her with a nasty taste in her mouth. She really hoped they could make up and forget about tonight. Put it behind them and move on.

"Monica?" Rachel placed a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm fine," she tried a smile as she pushed down the doubt and unease.

She was fine. He was fine. They were fine…maybe.

"No you're not, come on Monica, we're your best friends, talk to us," Rachel insisted, her hand rubbing her arm in comfort. "What's going on with you? What's upsetting you so much?"

Monica swallowed, looking down at her hands. She really needed them right now. Needed them to reassure her and hug her and understand why she couldn't stay. She'd desperately missed confiding in them all these months but protecting her and Chandler's budding relationship had always been more important.

But was there even a relationship to protect now? Would he forgive her for telling them? They had kept it a secret to avoid any pressure but recently the pressure on their relationship was because of the fact that they were a secret. They hadn't been able to spend much time together and that hadn't helped matters tonight.

If there was still a relationship then easing the pressure could only help? And if there wasn't one…then she was going to need her best girl friends by her, as losing Chandler would be hard…very hard. She swallowed, dread running through her, chilling her. What if this was it? What if she'd lost him?

"Monica?" Rachel prompted.

"I," she swallowed hard, she needed to talk to them, needed them. "I think Chandler broke up with me."

There. It was out. Her tears finally over-spilled and she furiously scrubbed at them.

"What?" Rachel asked confused, "that's…I…there's so many things wrong with that sentence that I don't even know where to start."

"We've been dating," she admitted quietly, accepting a tissue from Phoebe gratefully. "We kept it a secret because we needed time to figure 'us' out and it was going really well, really well. I never expected it and neither did he but we just clicked and it's the best relationship I've ever been in..."

"O-k," Rachel shot a look to Phoebe who shrugged back, "so what happened?"

"He didn't want me to come speed-dating, he got all insecure and weird about it. Then we said some horrible things, got in a fight and then…then he broke it off," her voice caught a little as she remembered how hurt and angry they'd both been, remembered the look in his eyes because of her.

"Was that what he was doing in your room earlier?" Phoebe guessed and Monica nodded.

"Oh, Monica," Phoebe pulled her in for a hug, one which Rachel quickly joined, "why didn't you tell us? We wouldn't have made you come tonight."

She shrugged, playing with the tissue in her hands, "I just wanted a night out with you two. I thought we could chat about guys and let our hair down."

"I'm sure it's fixable," Rachel reassured her, "Chandler's always had a soft spot for you, he's not gonna want to end anything with you over something as small as this."

"I hope so," Monica confessed, "but I'm not so sure. He was really mad and upset."

"It's just a silly fight," Phoebe insisted. "People always say stuff they don't mean in the heat of the moment. Why don't we get you home, you can talk to him and get it all straightened out."

She nodded eagerly, relieved that they understood, "Thank you guys so much but you don't have to come with me," she promised, "you should stay, I'm sure loads of guys would have picked you both…well before they saw you sitting with the crying crazy girl."

"Nah," Rachel waved a hand, "we wouldn't be able to have fun knowing how upset you are."

"Yeah," Phoebe agreed, "come on, let's get you to lover boy so you can kiss and make up," Monica grinned a little at that, "and then, once everything is settled we can go out again, just us girls and hear everything!"

"Yes!" Rachel nodded enthusiastically, "we are gonna want details!"

Monica laughed a little, her mood already lightening. How she'd needed them.

"Thanks guys," she smiled, taking each of their hands and giving them a squeeze, "thanks for understanding and I promise I'll tell you stuff but right now, can we just get out of here?"

Nodding, they grabbed their bits and made a hasty exit into the mild evening air on a mission.

* * *

"Look at him go," Ross commented as he watched his friend collect yet another girl's phone number, "he's on fire."

Chandler merely grunted, not looking up from his drink.

"I feel like we're watching Joey's own version of speed dating," Ross continued oblivious, "I'm sure that's like number 4 already. Wouldn't it be funny if he ended up with more phone numbers than the girls tonight?"

"Hilarious," Chandler muttered, knocking back the dregs of the warm beer with a grimace, "I'm getting another."

He made his way back to the bar, climbing onto an empty stool. He wasn't in a hurry to get back to Ross and his running commentary on his roommate's success stories. His mind was still on Monica and their stupid fight. That's all it was right? A fight? She must know he hadn't broken up with her for real, that it was just something said in the heat of the moment? That he did stupid stuff like this?

Did she?

He placed his order, reluctantly adding another drink as he felt Ross come stand beside him.

"Thanks man," Ross grinned accepting the beer with a nod.

Chandler shrugged, still thinking about the other Geller. Had he screwed this up? Was it fixable? Would it be like their disastrous weekend away – just a fight? One they could forget and forgive quickly and go back to being all loved up? Oh, he hoped so, really hoped so…

"Do you think I should try it?"

He frowned in annoyance, "What?"

"Speed dating," Ross repeated, turning to lean his back against the bar so he could continue tracking Joey's progress no doubt. "I'm thinking of trying it. It's just 3 minutes, right?" he continued without awaiting confirmation, "In 3 minutes that's not long enough to ask about failed marriages and divorces. They can get to like me on first impressions alone before they learn about all the, uh… _little_ details."

"Oh..right," Chandler agreed absently as a thought suddenly struck him.

When Ross had believed he and Rachel were on a break he'd slept with Chloe…did Monica think they were on break? Was this some sort of Geller thing? She thought he'd broken up with her so she was actually gonna look for a guy tonight? Had he thrown her at the 20 horny available guys?

No, he was being stupid, letting his screwed-up insecure imagination run away with him. Monica wasn't Ross. It was that simple. Just because they were in a club that looked like the Philly, it wasn't the same situation; would never be the same situation. He trusted her and they weren't Ross and Rachel.

"Chandler?"

"What?" he snapped, causing Ross to frown and glance quickly at him.

"What's with you tonight?" his friend finally asked and Chandler shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Nothing," he finally lied.

"Chandler?"

"I told you it's nothing, I'm fine," he lied again, glancing down at his beer bottle, "just the usual thanksgiving crap, so just ignore me."

He was aware of his friend's concerned gaze hovering on him still but chose to ignore it as he took a sip of his drink. Why had he come here? What had he really hoped he would achieve? That he could forget their fight just like that? That he would prove to her that whilst she was out with guys he was out with girls.

No, that wasn't him, that wasn't them.

Man, he hated fighting with her.

"You're sure? You've been pretty, uh high-strung since you got home and-"

"Ross," he sighed deeply, trying not to snap at the man again; he knew he was only trying to look out for him. "I'm not really in a talking mood."

"Ok, fine, suit yourself," he shrugged dropping it for now but Chandler was sure it would resurface again. "I may see how the girls get on tonight but if they liked it I think I'd try it. Hey! You should totally come with me."

Chandler remained silent, rolling his eyes. The irony was not lost on him.

* * *

Monica tapped her fingers impatiently as the cab seem to crawl to its destination. Why was it going so slow? She was desperate to get over there and clear the air. She hated the thought of him hurting and brooding over anything, especially anything to do with her.

She just had to believe it wasn't over and was just a stupid fight.

"Monica, try to relax, we'll be home in a minute," Rachel pointed out.

"Then you can see Chandler and have lots of make up sex," Phoebe chuckled suggestively.

She smiled a little at the thought as a shiver ran through her as she imagined opening his apartment door and just running up to him, throwing herself at him and them kissing passionately. They'd both whisper hurried apologies to each other in between desperate kisses, hands would be everywhere, caressing skin and leaving trails of fire; clothing would be quickly removed on route to the bedroom as they become desperate to feel skin against skin and reassure each other repeatedly.

"I hope so," she muttered, debating if she should get changed before she saw him. Get rid of the outfit that had been one of the reasons they fought, or keep it on and use it to her advantage? She was sure he'd enjoy taking it off her. Her smile widened even more as once again her mind pictured his talented hands on her skin…she shivered.

"Earth to Monica," Phoebe was waving a hand in front of her face. "We're here."

Monica blinked realizing the cab had indeed stopped by the kerb outside their apartment building, "Sorry," she mumbled, quickly climbing out.

She took the stairs much faster than a person in heels should, the need to find Chandler kicking her adrenaline into overdrive. She needed to see him, needed to talk to him and resolve this. Needed to hold him, kiss him and set their little part of the world right again.

When she reached his door she didn't even bother to knock, instead she just flung it open in her haste.

"Chandler?" she called.

Nothing.

Frowning, she started to head to his room but knew already it would be empty; it was too quiet. Opening the top half of his bedroom door just confirmed her suspicions; he wasn't here.

"Monica?" Rachel called as the girls reached the doorway, surprised to find it open and a worried-looking Monica standing alone.

"He's not here!" She said quickly, her concerned eyes going to them each in turn. "Where is he?"

The girls shared a look before rushing over to join her, "Maybe he just went out to clear his head?"

"Oh! Maybe he's with Joey and Ross?" Phoebe suggested. "They were going out tonight, maybe he tagged along?"

Monica swallowed, "What if he's gone out to try and pick someone up to get over me?"

"Honey, you can't think like that," Rachel scolded, stroking her arm. "Chandler's not like that. Phoebe, do you know where they were going?"

"Yeah, they were heading to Club Vision, come on," she grabbed Monica's arm, "We can go meet them and find Chandler."

Nodding Monica allowed herself to be pulled out of the apartment, rushing down the stairs and practically jumping in front of the first cab they saw to get it to stop. Piling in, Phoebe gave the address to the driver before focusing on Monica.

"It's gonna be fine," Phoebe promised. "He probably just wanted to drown his sorrows in alcohol. Like he did after Kathy."

"God, did I hurt him as badly as she did?" Monica fretted, hating the thought of him being that upset.

"Of course not," Rachel jumped in. "You didn't cheat on him. You guys had a fight. Me and Ross used to have fights all the time."

Monica swallowed, that thought hardly reassuring her.

"What if he thinks we're finished? What if he-?"

"Monica, try and relax, it's gonna be fine," Phoebe told her firmly. "Trust him."

Still hesitant but trying to look determined Monica nodded, remaining silent. She just prayed they were right.

* * *

"Hey!" Joey greeted as he came to stand between Chandler and Ross. "Chandler can I borrow a $50? I wanna get this girl and her roommates some drinks and well…"

Chandler dug into his pocket, thrusting some bills at him none-too-gently.

"You can take it all," he muttered, "but dear god make sure you go to their place. I can't deal with some orgy going on in our living room tonight."

"Sweet," Joey approved, gesturing to the bartender and placing his order.

"You sure you don't wanna talk about it?" Ross tried yet again.

"Talk about what?" Joey asked confused, looking between his two friends. "What's going on?"

"Chandler's all snappy and down but he won't tell me what's going on," Ross told on him.

"I'm not snappy or down," he snapped, unwittingly proving Ross right.

"Oh," Joey frowned, studying his roommate, taking in his miserable face and slumped shoulders as realization dawned. "Everything alright with you and…you know who?"

Chandler's jaw tightened in annoyance. Joey wasn't the most subtle at the best of times, let alone with a few beers in him.

"What 'you know who'?" Ross asked quickly with a frown. "You have a 'you know who'? Why didn't you say something. Who is it?"

"There is no 'you know who'," he said firmly, glowering at Joey who grimaced in apology.

"I'm sorry man, I forgot."

"Wait, Joey knows who this 'you know who' is?! You tell Joey and not me? Come on who is she?"

Chandler grated his teeth. There wasn't even a relationship to hide anymore, yet he was still getting hassle for it. He didn't need this, not tonight.

"I've gotta go use the bathroom," he grouched, pushing himself off his bar stool and striding in that direction before either man could protest. He needed space to clear his head and calm down or he'd have to explain to Monica why he killed her brother and he could do without another reason for her not to talk to him right now.

"See what you've done!" Joey complained as he handed over Chandler's money to the bartender.

"Me?" Ross protested surprised. "I'm trying to help him, be a friend to him. He's really bummed by whatever's going on. Who is she?"

"Oh no no no!" Joey's eyes widened. "I can't tell you that."

"Why not?" he frowned confused. "I can't help him unless I know who it is. Tell me."

"It's their secret to tell," Joey shook his head stubbornly.

"Secret? So it's someone I know?" Ross persisted, frowning in thought as he ran through possible options.

Joey panicked even more, worried he'd somehow given away a clue,"Um, no, I uh…"

He was saved from his splutterings as Rachel, Phoebe and a frazzled looking Monica came charging into the club.

"Thank god," Joey muttered, waving them over quickly. "Right, I'm taking my drinks and finding those hot girls. See you all later."

"What are you guys doing here?" Ross asked the girls, even more confused as Joey hurried off. "What happened to speed dating? It can't be that speedy?" he smiled at his own pun.

"We left early," Rachel dismissed him quickly, her attention not on him, instead looking around the club, her eyes searching the dancefloor. "Where's Chandler? Is he here with you?"

"Yeah he is," Ross sighed, "but he's not great company tonight."

"Ross, where is he?" Monica asked abruptly.

"Oh, he went to the-"

"Chandler!" Monica called, cutting across Ross as she spotted him.

Chandler heard her voice and froze, frowning in disbelief. Looking up his eyes found hers and locked. She was looking at him with such love tinged with sorrow and regret. And he instantly knew. It wasn't over. That wasn't the face of someone that wanted them to be finished. It was fixable. Thank God.

She was making her way hurriedly across the bar and suddenly remembering how to use his legs, he hurried to meet her half way, not breaking the eye-contact for a second.

Before they knew it they were standing in front of each other, mere inches apart. The rest of the club disappeared as they stared at the other simply transfixed. Their eyes were still locked, passing so many messages between them. Love, guilt, forgiveness.

Seconds later their lips crashed together fiercely, an urgent need to reassure each other rushing through them. He pulled her to him, crushing her to his body as their lips hungrily re-familiarized themselves with each other, dedicating the unique taste and feeling to memory as they reunited, strengthening their amazing bond.

It wasn't over.

When they broke apart they rested their foreheads against each other, staying close in the safety of their embrace, needing to be near and connected. Chandler closed his eyes for a moment, just letting her scent and the feel of her surround him and soothe him, erasing the pain from the last few hours.

"I'm sorry," Chandler whispered eventually, opening his eyes as his hand came up to cup her cheek, the pads of his thumbs brushing away a stray tear. "So sorry."

"No," Monica shook her head, "I'm the sorry one. I shouldn't have gone."

"No," he shook his head just as stubbornly, "I shouldn't have been so jealous or been so stupid to say I wanted to stop being your boyfriend. I don't, I really don't, Monica."

"Good," she cracked a watery smile, "because if you can forgive me, I don't wanna stop being your girlfriend either."

The corner of his lips curved up as he studied her, his blue eyes bright as he suggested, "How about we forgive each other, put it behind us and stay together in this pretty incredible relationship thing we have going?"

"I'd like that," she chuckled beaming at him.

"Ok then," he murmured softly, before unable to resist, he pressed his lips to hers once more.

Back at the bar three friends watched the couple; two with large smiles on their faces and one looking rather perplexed.

"Did someone spike my drink or am I actually watching Monica and Chandler make-out?" Ross frowned. "Is she seriously his 'you know who'?"

"Yeah apparently," Rachel nodded, "She only told us tonight but look at them."

"I know!" Phoebe grinned. "I wasn't too sure when she said about it but seeing them together…yeah, they work, really work."

Ross couldn't disagree.

"Anyone know when this little... development happened?" Ross asked his eyes still on the happy couple.

"They've been together quite a while," Rachel told him with a small smile, pleased for her roommate. "They had a huge fight tonight over the whole speed dating thing…but by the looks of it, I'd say they've made up."

Ross nodded.

"You've not officially made up until the make-up sex," Phoebe chuckled causing Ross to grimaced in disgust.

"Eeeewwww, seriously? Did you have to say that. I'm disturbed enough that my best friend's tongue is down my baby sister's throat. Did you really think I needed that image to add to all this? Thanks a lot," he grumbled.

"I think you better get used to it fast," Rachel commented, watching as the pair finally separated for air, making eyes at each other. Eventually they shared another quick kiss before, still wrapped up in each others arms, they started to make their way back towards their friends.

Ross shot Rachel a look before mentally preparing himself as the couple hesitantly approached them.

"Hey," Monica smiled awkwardly, her arms still firmly around Chandler's waist, his securely over her shoulders, hugging her into his side. Neither quite ready to let the other go just yet.

"I take it everything is sorted out now?" Phoebe asked knowingly and Monica nodded her smile wide as she looked up at Chandler.

"We're ok," she promised staring at him.

"We're very ok," he corrected her as he leaned forward placing a peck of a kiss on her soft lips, smiling at her endearingly.

"Aww," Rachel smiled widely, "I'm so relieved that everything's turned out alright."

"Me too," Monica agreed, "Sorry for ruining speed dating though."

"Ah, don't worry about it," Phoebe dismissed with a wave of her hand. "There's a lot cuter guys here anyhow. Including that cutie over there. Ooh yum. Excuse me."

They watched surprised and amused as Phoebe flicked her hair back, stuck her chest out and sauntered towards her target. The poor guy didn't stand a chance.

"So," Ross tore his eyes from his blonde friend and onto them, taking them in, "You guys are a thing now?"

Monica nodded, biting her lip, though she was still smiling,"I'm sorry we didn't tell you guys. We just wanted to adjust to everything first before working out the best way to tell you. Are you ok with it?"

Ross nodded, though not a particularly convincingly. "Yeah, I think so, it's kinda hard not to be when you're both grinning that much. It's weird though but it's nice to see Chandler in a better mood."

"Sorry, man," Chandler offered with a wry grin to which Ross offered him a nod of acknowledgment. They'd have to talk at some point, but right now this was enough.

"You guys hid it damn well," Rachel pointed out, still somewhat shocked by tonight's events.

"We had a few close calls," Monica smiled at the memories.

"That we did," Chandler chuckled, pressing a lingering kiss to the side of her head. "Did you want a drink babe, or did you wanna…" he was suddenly aware of Ross' glare, "…um, go do make up laundry?"

Rachel tried her hardest not to laugh at Chandler's attempt at a code word as Ross started to turn red. She decided to take pity on the couple.

"Ross, come dance with me. Guys have fun doing that laundry, make sure you put a sock on it," Rachel raised her eyebrows knowingly as she pulled a protesting Ross in the direction of the over-loud music.

"So…" Chandler smiled down at her once they were all alone, turning so they were facing each other, his arms encircled her waist. "Everyone knows about this and we still have those 2 empty apartments...Wanna go make up in style?"

"Both apartments?" she laughed happily, her own arms tightening around him.

He nodded, a gleam in his gorgeous blue eyes, "That's for starters. If we get time there's always the roof, storage cupboard and hallway..."

"You have a list?"

"You betcha, although we've done a fair few of them already."

She laughed again and chuckling himself, he captured her lips in a sweet toe-curling kiss.

"I really am sorry, Chandler," Monica whispered after the kiss ended, meeting his eyes. "I hate fighting with you."

"I'm sorry too," he promised, raising a hand to gently stroke her hair, tucking a strand of it behind her ear as he took her in. He let the warmth of her smile and the love in her eyes heal his earlier insecurities, squishing them down completely. "Now, come on, those apartments need some lovin'" he quipped as he tugged her towards the exit.

As she giggled, clutching his hand tightly both knew for sure; they were going to be just fine.

The End.

* * *

A/N: Again, thank you guys for being so awesome! I hope part two was fluffy enough to make up for the earlier angst!


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